8Years On...

Or is it?

Truth be told, I've lost count. I think that's a good sign. This is just me now. It's just the way I am. Not something I have to fight to be.

Some things haven't changed. Motorcycles still saved my life. And they carry on saving it every day. The flashbacks are still happening, but they're getting easier. I've only had one big one this year. One! That's pretty amazing. It did put me in hospital though, which was horrible.

The memory loss is still there, and the confusion.

I found out that one of my friends is still alive. And starting a family! I'd heard they didn't survive, turns out they were just in prison. I still don't know what for mind, but alive! I cried when I heard.

I also drank a bottle of whiskey this year.

And thankfully, I hated it. Game Over. Not an experiment I care to repeat.

I'm never going back. I know that. I'm fighting with the temptation every day, and I know I will for the rest of my life, but it's not a fair fight. I've already won.


There really is one thought, one completely bulletproof mantra, that keeps me going. I know, if I went back, one thing would lead to another and I'll get myself all dead. And that thought, that lifesaving thought, is pretty simple really;

If I'm dead, who will ride my bike?