My History - Relapses

I had a few relapses after I got the bike.

I smoked weed a few times, but it just worried me too much. I was worried it wouldn't wear off and that I'd end up having to get on my bike stoned. It was a horrible feeling, and it just took the fun out of it totally. So I did it less and less. As for the drinking, riding with a hangover is a fate worse than death! Sod that, thank you very much.
Every time I was tempted, I thought of riding that bike stoned. It wasn't a conscious effort to think of it, I wasn't using it as a trick to help give up. It just happened. I couldn't not think of it. I thought of how hard it would be to ride stoned, and how easy it would be to lose concentration. And losing concentration, even for a second, on a bike can mean the difference between Life and Death. Riding without being totally awake and sober was just too much of a risk.
I loved my bike. I still do.
And you can't ride a bike if you're a bit busy being Dead.

One relapse really hit home for me though.
I went to visit a friend, and to show her the bike. She smoked a lot of weed, and I didn't mind. After all, I wasn't smoking it. It had never affected me before if I'd been round her house and she'd been smoking. Probably because I would walk home, and it would wear off. Maybe because my system was still so used to the stuff. Maybe a combination of both.
I went to see her as usual and there were no problems. She even sat next to the window to smoke, because I was Riding, which I appreciated. No problemo, at least not until I got on the bike to go home.
Then there was a problem. A big one. I was stoned. Without smoking!
It was a nightmare, I got no further than half a mile up the road before I pulled out in front of a car and nearly killed myself. I couldn't concentrate. The difference was incredible. I wouldn't even have noticed if I had have been walking, I wouldn't have realised I was stoned, I wouldn't have felt it! But on the bike I did. I had to pull over and sit in a car park for half an hour waiting for it to wear off. Which was irritating to say the least! Fortunately I had a book on me which my friend had lent me, but that's by the by.

That one event did it for me. I was stoned enough to make a stupid mistake, but sober enough to realise.

Now I know. I avoid weed totally. I can't risk it. Sometimes I'm a little over-zealous about avoiding it, if I catch a whiff of it outside, I will cross the street. But over-zealous is better than Dead.

I have not been on a bike stoned since. And I'm still alive.


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My History - What I live with now