My History - Getting off Drugs

In a way I think I was blessed when it came to getting off drugs. I had motivation, something that didn't mix with drugs.
It was little and black and had a top speed of 60 odd mph. (It's now big and green and has a top speed of 174mph, but that's beside the point!)

I had my bike.

Without it, I don't think I could have done it.
Not that it wasn't a battle, it was. There were relapses. But I quickly learnt that you just can't ride a bike if you're not sober. When you're learning to ride, it's bloody well hard enough not to fall over even if you are sober!

The bike was given to me when I was 17. But it wasn't until I was 18 that I started riding it. In that time, I cleaned up. I needed my money. I'd been working since the age of 15, but I'd been spending all my earnings on drugs. I needed them for insurance! So I cut down the drugs so I could start saving up the £300 I needed to get the bike on the road. I started by going raving less, and putting the weekends money away into a box. I cut out the pills altogether next, they were expensive. Then I cut out the other drugs. I cut out a lot of the weekday partying, sticking to the odd weekday and weekends. By the time I hit 18 I had the money. And I'd managed to cut out everything except weed.

But after that first ride, that first go on a bike, the weed just didn't matter anymore.
I can't begin to explain it. It was better. Better than drugs, better than sex, better than chocolate, better than having wasted sex eating tons of chocolate!! Better than anything. It was freedom and achievement and pure happiness all rolled into one. I didn't care about the drugs. I cared about the bike. And nothing else.

That bike has become a symbol to me. A symbol of what you can achieve if you find something you truly care about. And I believe that is the key. Finding something better than drugs. Once you find that, it's all you need to quit. No addiction is too much, you can do it. And easily. It's just a case of finding it. For me, it was a bike. For a friend of mine, it was university, for another friend, DJing got him off coke. Getting married did the trick for another friend. Stuff you just can't do if you're wasted, and stuff you'd rather do than get wasted. It's out there, it exists. I've seen it happen. It's just a case of finding it.
I surprised myself. I shocked everyone I knew. No one thought I could do it. But after those keys were handed to me, and I took that bike out for the first time, I knew I could. I knew drugs just didn't matter anymore.

The only thing that mattered was sitting in the garage, looking nice and shiny.


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My History - Relapses